Skip to lesson

Life Skills · Discover · Pre-K to Grade 2

Chapter 4: Communication

Telling a Grown-Up

Some things you must tell. That is not tattling.

Lesson
4
Time
About 9 minutes
WorksheetAnswer key

Telling a Grown-Up

Some things you must tell. That is not tattling.

2 situations to decide. There is often more than one good answer: pick one and see what happens.

In the playground

A child you do not know is sitting by the wall crying. Nobody else has noticed.

What do you do?

At the park

An older child says you can have some candy, but only if you come around the corner where nobody can see, and you must not tell.

What do you do?

What That Was

Is somebody hurt? In danger? Very upset? If yes, tell a grown-up. Always.

Tattling is different

Tattling is when you say something just to get somebody into trouble, and nobody is hurt or in danger.

If you are not sure

Tell anyway. Nobody sensible is upset with a child for telling about something that turned out to be fine.

Secrets that feel wrong

If a grown-up asks you to keep a secret from your grown-ups, tell. Every time. That rule never has an exception.

Try It

These ones do have right answers.

Tell, or Sort It Out?

Tap each one, then tap where it goes.

Which of these should you tell a grown-up?

Tap something to move it.

  • Empty
  • Empty

Quick Check

Question 1 of 1

A grown-up says: do not tell your mom about this. What do you do?

Your Life Mission

Something to do away from the screen. Nobody is checking.

Name your grown-ups

  1. Name three grown-ups you could tell something important to.
  2. Say them out loud to somebody at home.
  3. Remember one of them is at school.

Why: Knowing who to tell before anything happens is what makes telling possible when it does.

For a grown-up: Let them choose the three, including who at school. A list they picked is one they will actually use.

What You Learned

  • Hurt, danger, or very upset — always tell.
  • Telling to get somebody in trouble is different.
  • If a grown-up wants a secret kept from your grown-ups, tell.
For the grown-up

This is the safeguarding lesson of the band. "Do not tattle" is absorbed by small children as a general rule against reporting, and it is worth actively correcting rather than assuming they will make the distinction.

The surprise-versus-secret line is the standard one and it works: a surprise is something everybody will know soon and is happy about; a secret is something one adult wants hidden from another. Children can apply it reliably by about five.

How you react to a false alarm decides whether the next real thing gets reported. Thanking them for telling, even when it was nothing, is the whole investment.